P.S. Forgive the image. Or at least try.

Not really, hahah.

I’ve just moved my blog, as it is. ElaineAquino.com has been pwned! Sort of. Thank you for visiting Looking Through. Of course, I’ll still be around– just on a different location. Much like I’m in a different phase right now. College. Orientations. Classes. And eventually, dating, pregnancy and early parenthood. Ok, forget the last part. I’m just kidding around and I’m not that stupid. But, you know, the thought of it always hovers over my head every time because it’s very much mentioned in college. It’s like I just want to say “STOOOPPP!” We know about it. We know the consequences. But why, oh why, do you keep repeating it as if you’re suggesting we should just as well do it now if we plan to do it later?

But it does happen. And it happens to teenagers a lot.

Nevertheless, I feel privileged to be in a good school and, just like what was said during orientation, if “much has been given, much is also expected.”

1. And so it is that I will be attending the College of Nursing at XU. Of course, I dislike the course but I’ve talked about this over and over before. I can never win in front of my mom. That’s how the cookie crumbles. Aight?
   I have my schedule for classes now. Ah, freshman. Life is such a cycle.
2. Someone also created the blog header for me.
   I think it looks beautiful. I’ve always loved sunsets. The book “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupery says (or implies) that only sad people like sunsets. I love that book.

A couple of last minute notes to end April. It has been a good month. Actually, every month is a good month for me.

I Might Not Be A Loser After All
Elaine A.

I would rather sing to my soul
Of the tragedy
That is me
Than sing to the crowd
And let them think
I am who I want to be

I would rather get up
In the morning
Being ugly
Than spend the rest
Of my life
Believing I was pretty

I would rather bore you
Of how life is
In all its simplicity
Than entertain you
With meaningless words
To let you think I was witty

I may have no talent
Not pretty
In any way
You may have everything
Everything
All in a day

But I keep silent
With my passion
Something you’ve never seen
Perhaps I might emerge
The victor
And do exactly as I mean

I hate to think I’m just being jealous. I’m not. Am I?

Okay, remember my 300 post about hoping to see Epic Movie soon? I did! Weee, right?

It was really cool and funny. They used lots of movies and celebrity personalities so maybe that’s why I heard it had some bad criticism- but I thought it was freaky! Oh well, I didn’t know exactly where the story was leading to but I guess, as they say, it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. And the journey of that movie was cool but I thought Date Movie or Scary Movie made me laugh more. Anyhow, I love the soundtrack.

Empty
by Elaine A.

I have written songs
Of love, of life and of me
I have climbed a hill
To see where I want to be

I have crossed a river
And felt the water brush my feet
I have seen the place
Where sad people come to meet

But I haven’t seen myself
Beyond the sadness and tears
I haven’t crossed the barrier
Where people have no fears

I haven’t climbed a place
Where I should have been happy
And I haven’t written a song
That could sing my life’s melody.

When I was in high school, I wrote this. Sometimes, I think my poems are too shallow. Maybe I just write what comes out of the blue regardless if it makes sense. I’m not sure, but I never was one who had “too many friends” in high school and until now. I felt like I was always the one in class whom people avoided to tease or pick on because they all knew I easily cried. I always felt empty ever since my parents separated. The house was not home. And I didn’t know where else in the world was home.

Scrutinize
by Elaine A.

So deeply wounded
In a world of skin
When what matters most
Is not from within
It’s always the question
Of what you see
If they please not your eyes
You just let them be

It was never a question
If their soul was clean
Because what matters most
Is that eye so keen
Too keen to notice
So keen to bare
That which separates them
With every stare

Hmm. Ok that’s it. Heheh.

I don’t understand why most Filipinos/ Filipino families like to go home to their respective provinces during Holy Week. It makes the bus stations almost chaotic and they have to wait hours just to take that long ride home. Is it tradition? Maybe they just miss home? But the most probable reason might be that they just want to spend that special week with their loved ones- which is really sweet.

I’m not sure why I don’t feel so reverent. I feel like I’m so bad because of that. At the very least, I completely respect the occasion but I think I should do more than that as a Christian. As a Roman Catholic. I’m always so guilty when it comes to religion because I don’t participate in practices that most people do. I’m lazy and I don’t want to deny it but I’ve always tried fighting it.

Oh, this is very sad… me talking about how lazy I am on Holy Week.

Whenever I think I should have someone to guide me, I think of Him and that keeps everything in tact, I guess. At least I still believe that there’s Someone who loves me and, when in doubt of myself, He gives me the biggest assurance that I’m not alone. He’s just there!

Yes, I fell for the “FREE breakthrough broadband” service, the all-new, Google TiSP. It was a totally good start to April. I’m loving Google more for that. I believed it until the toilet and DNS part. Really funny, big G, really funny.

Once upon a boring evening, this was what I thought of writing. I didn’t get to complete it and I doubt that I ever will.

I will not bury myself with work. I will not meet too many people. I will stay home and rest a little, blog a little. I will just free my mind. I will not listen to rants. I will not agree to them neither. I will just be neutral and laid back. I will keep my cool. I will do it for myself and for the people who worry about me and my eye bags. I will be normal.

Keep out. You can’t enter my room. Though you don’t see walls, there is a barrier and it is called ‘Privacy’ for a reason. You do not have to mind what clothes I wear, which parties I attend or in whose company I am with. You do not have to mind me at all.

Speaking of incomplete written works, I was a bit anxious to post about another blog I started. It was a sort of literary journal I kept unnoticed for a time… for quite some time. It’s entitled with a very cheesy title Four Chapters.

Four Chapters was supposedly a book I started thinking of writing a summer or two ago. I can’t even call it a “book” because it’s not that long actually. Through time, the plot of the story has changed but the main points have remained, I guess. I always loved writing in the summer mostly because I had more time. I wanted to be a writer- but turned up as a kind of computer techie (though not the professional type). What’s funny is, when I was fifteen, I thought I’m gonna be one of the few kids who could publish a book at that age. Eventually, I didn’t finish a written work that was worth publishing (my very encouraging friend told me what I wrote was more of a “booklet” because it was too short- I’m being sarcastic here, he wasn’t encouraging at all). When I was sixteen, I thought the same thing- and still no book was done. Now I’m seventeen and the problem is, I don’t think I can do that anymore. Ha ha. Silly.

300 hunks Spartan warriors have captured my attention at the movie house tonight. Yes. I watched the movie. It was so cool and hot at the same time. I love the 300 men movie!

It is a story about Sparta, a city in Greece. As it is usually read in history, a comparison between Sparta and Athens often occurs. Sparta is actually more inclined to- and prepared for- wars while Athens is more on the arts and intellect. Anyway, in this movie, both cities weren’t against each other. In fact, they eventually united as one country to defeat the Persians headed by the Persian king, Xerxes, who apparently is a self-proclaimed immortal (he claims himself a god).

300 of the finest Spartan warriors versus more than a million Persian invaders plus their rather clumsy sidekick creatures ranging from orc-like characters (which looked like it was rented from Lord of the Rings) to dumbo elephants to chubby monsters (which I swear I’ve seen from Star Wars: Attack of the Clones) to rhinocerous-like animals (as if they reincarnated from Stone Age, or whichever age that was).

The effects were excellent. It looked very realistic. If I were British, I’d say it was a bloody movie, configuratively and literally. If you saw the movie too, you’ll be amazed by all the bloodshed (so it also made me remember Munich).

The queen was good. I loved the part when she stuck the sword in that traitor of a Spartan politician. When he lied, I just wanted to squeeze him into nothingness. Guess what I said out loud in the movie house when she stabbed him, “Die in hell, b*tch!”

Ultimately, the handful of soldiers did not technically win the battle but they caused an inspiration to the rest of Greece. The king was noble and appeared regal to me even without a crown.

The actors and actresses were great and talented. The direction, production and special effects were good. The similarly-titled novel on which it was based on also deserved compliments. Movie and plot info on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/300_(film)

It was really cool. Looking forward to watching An Epic Movie soon!
Have you watched it yet? What do you think of the movie or the story?

What is your blog supposedly about?

That is, if you’re like me who goes beyond my own rules (which is silly, by the way, I create them and break them. No, it’s not silly- it’s fun!), you must have an original reason for blogging.

So you might be wondering why my blog is entitled ‘Looking Through’…

Supposedly, I was going to blog about other blogs, random blogs around WordPress.com. But I messed up, apparently. Now, I’m talking about myself. Previously, I talked about technology and computer operating systems. And then I talked about random stuff.

I wanted to write about other blogs because I came upon this site on WordPress called bestblog and thought it wasn’t so updated (but it is now) and then brought myself to think I could do the same and do it more often than them (an overconfident hypothesis, that was).

You know how it is when you’re in adolescent stage (or when you’re a teenager), you get to think about lots of things and you get to have lots of mood swings and you get to ask a lot of questions like they were so important to the whole existence of the world. I guess that’s what happened. Once more, the great teen blogger Elaine Aquino, has screwed up her own plans!

Not the singer. Pink, as in the color… of my blog.

Something you will see and hear on TV when you’re not in school and you’ve got nothing to do or you’re just a kid who loves Dora.

I love it though cuz it can get funny sometimes- and educational, too.

Watch it and you’ll get to hear the Map’s lyrics which is, like, “I’m the Map…” and repeat it about 21 times and then the song’s done.

My latest favorite song which actually has some truth in it.

I don’t consider myself one of ‘these girls.’ Although sometimes I call myself ’stupid,’ I’m not as stupid as that. I mean I wouldn’t care more over how shiny my lipgloss is while the car I’m driving hits a person (not that I know how to drive, though).

Yeah, this was sort of funny but really true. How do you call it- a satire, right? I think it is.

Ok. Lyrics…

Stupid Girls by Pink

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

Go to Fred Segal, you’ll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
Disease’s growing, it’s epidemic
I’m scared that there ain’t a cure
The world believes it and I’m going crazy
I cannot take any more
I’m so glad that I’ll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That’s what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
That was so not sexy, no
Good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY

(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

[ www.LyricsTop.com ]

Okay. I didn’t really understand the meme stuff and how it’s supposed to work when you’re tagged. Probably that’s the reason why I don’t tag anyone else.

Anyhow, my good friend on the blog-o-sphere, Dimaks, was talking about these secrets stuff and, though, I’m not tagged or anything, I just thought it was cool to share my own secrets which aren’t secrets anymore once I tell it but still I will.

Uh-huh. I’ve also done the not-paying-public-transpo-fare thing (not the best experience, honestly). But perhaps one of the untold secrets I can now confidently share (since it was so long ago) is that I practically burned our Brothers notebook (or was that a laptop) when I was younger. Not that I had any grudge with my ‘rents but it was more a matter of knowing the importance of plugging electrical stuff on a 110 or 220 volt socket (or whatever it’s called). I hope you understand this though. I was going to use the laptop and it had low batteries so I charged it and plugged it on the 220, when it was supposedly for the other (110). Eventually, a soft electrical blow sounded somewhere along the adapter’s fuse and there smelled a faint hint of burnt electrical wire. It didn’t spark though. From then on, ironically, I started to like computers.

It’s going to be out on July 21, 2007. Amazon.com’s giving it for $18.89 instead of $34.99 for pre-orders, but that doesn’t matter. Amazon’s gonna be rich again. I can feel it in my bones. I’m quite excited of what will happen next. Theories are that the great wizard Dumbledy isn’t really dead and so and so.

Hmm… lots of stuff are gonna happen in Book 7, I suppose. Much as I’d hate to read more deaths, the title itself has the word in it so I guess everyone should just die (just kiddin).

Anyhoo, I’m crossing my fingers hoping Harry Potter won’t die because he looks cuter alive, and that Hermione won’t, too, because she’s brainy and also Ron because I’m wondering how he’d look like when he still won’t cut his hair and make it grow longer than his sister’s.

Seriously, I like the book and how Ms. J.K. Rowling’s wit surpasses my expectations.

Oh well. My conscience did bother me. Now, I am compelled to write another journal for my weblog although, at most occasions, I post just about anything that’s in my silly head. Y’see, it has been a long while since my last post.

Anyway, I’ve been out accross the Internet hunting for domains and web hosting, posting in multiple forums, doing some little business and building silly websites with very high hopes and very low results.

I liked all these stuff and I’m so tired of asking myself why I still don’t feel satisfied even though I’m doing something I’ve always wanted/ dreamed of.

So now, screw those silly thoughts! I want to get on with this freaking life without having to reflect back on how I used to think why I wasn’t happy despite everything. I’m doing something cool and fulfilling and that’s it, that’s it, that’s it. Screw teenage curiosity/ confusion. I’m always such a victim of that. Darn, how I’d love to swear right now but I just won’t. Well, even if I did swear in our vernacular, no one would understand (except, probably, dimaks… are you reading this? Hahah. Ayaw saba ha, amigo bitaw ta. Hahah. ).

Right now, someone just told me that our neighbor died of a stroke as in minutes ago. At first, it was almost just normal to me. But now that it has sinked in, the feeling is just weird. Whenever someone I know dies, the image of them always stays in my head for days after their death. It keeps on coming back like a reminder. Bless his soul. He must be happy in heaven now…

Anyhoo, that is life… or death… We just never know, don’t we? *sigh*

Look what I did while I was in an Internet café… And I’m only half proud of it because I know I could’ve done crazier than that. Hahah. Actually, this is part two of the Chocolates and Internet Cafés post I wrote at my BlogSpot blog (which I think I should import here but I won’t because I love it there. Hee hee). I also ate those melt-in-your-mouth-not-in-your-hand chocolates a while ago. I love sweets, but now I fear being diabetic. And Ma, you know I’m not that fat still despite your claims.

TIP: Thou shalt never call a girl ‘fat’ even if you don’t mean it, because according to my theory, it kills girls’ self-confidence more than when you say they’re not confident at all. I’m dead serious.

Is it just me or does the world really turn in slow-mo rotation in between Christmas and New Year? I have noticed bloggers, including myself, who have seemed to ‘hibernate’ from blogging at those days. It’s not that it’s such a bad thing; people are people and people have to rest (like the support guys in WordPress who have apparently disabled the feedback form temporarily for the holidays).

Anyway, I did a lot of new things on New Year (or New Year’s Eve).

• I drank beer… with my mom. She told me to. Hahah. I reckon there’s nothing so amusing with beer to me ‘cept that it’s all bitter stuff. I didn’t even get drunk (or is it because I’m naive still… I don’t freaking know). Bah.
• My sister and I shouted ‘Happy New Year’ while everything was surrounded with noise (fireworks and stuff) but my brother shouted that he was going to die instead. Weird little boy, he never seems to get the right words out most of the time. We call him ‘Mr. Bean’ because he’s so clumsy, but he likes it because he actually admires Mr. Bean. I, on the other hand, admire Rowan Atkinson himself.
• I built more websites.
• We celebrated New Year at home, and I’m so glad because we usually don’t do that.

Hmm… one little point I always fail to include when I talk about family stuff, but which I always hope of including is mentioning my Dad. I wonder where he is right now. I wonder if he’s thinking about us… about me. I always remember him whenever I hear Barry Manilow’s songs. And I never could stop myself from a tear or two whenever I hear a song about father and daughter.

I guess he’s got another ‘little girl’ now.

But anyway, it’s so sad to celebrate something so special without those who are special to you. It makes the moment a bit less happy.

Oh well… I won’t let that bring bad luck to my year. It’s New Year. It’s a chance for everyone to start anew. New resolutions and new predictions. Perhaps, even new chances to change the bad habits. Let’s all be positive. Look on the bright side of life.