Head Off to the Pub. :)

Because that’s where I’m at.

P.S. Forgive the image. Or at least try.

I Have Evolved

Not really, hahah.

I’ve just moved my blog, as it is. ElaineAquino.com has been pwned! Sort of. Thank you for visiting Looking Through. Of course, I’ll still be around– just on a different location. Much like I’m in a different phase right now. College. Orientations. Classes. And eventually, dating, pregnancy and early parenthood. Ok, forget the last part. I’m just kidding around and I’m not that stupid. But, you know, the thought of it always hovers over my head every time because it’s very much mentioned in college. It’s like I just want to say “STOOOPPP!” We know about it. We know the consequences. But why, oh why, do you keep repeating it as if you’re suggesting we should just as well do it now if we plan to do it later?

But it does happen. And it happens to teenagers a lot.

Nevertheless, I feel privileged to be in a good school and, just like what was said during orientation, if “much has been given, much is also expected.”

Just Some Notes

1. And so it is that I will be attending the College of Nursing at XU. Of course, I dislike the course but I’ve talked about this over and over before. I can never win in front of my mom. That’s how the cookie crumbles. Aight?
   I have my schedule for classes now. Ah, freshman. Life is such a cycle.
2. Someone also created the blog header for me.
   I think it looks beautiful. I’ve always loved sunsets. The book “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupery says (or implies) that only sad people like sunsets. I love that book.

A couple of last minute notes to end April. It has been a good month. Actually, every month is a good month for me.

I Might Not Be A Loser After All

I Might Not Be A Loser After All
Elaine A.

I would rather sing to my soul
Of the tragedy
That is me
Than sing to the crowd
And let them think
I am who I want to be

I would rather get up
In the morning
Being ugly
Than spend the rest
Of my life
Believing I was pretty

I would rather bore you
Of how life is
In all its simplicity
Than entertain you
With meaningless words
To let you think I was witty

I may have no talent
Not pretty
In any way
You may have everything
Everything
All in a day

But I keep silent
With my passion
Something you’ve never seen
Perhaps I might emerge
The victor
And do exactly as I mean

I hate to think I’m just being jealous. I’m not. Am I?

Epic Movie

Okay, remember my 300 post about hoping to see Epic Movie soon? I did! Weee, right?

It was really cool and funny. They used lots of movies and celebrity personalities so maybe that’s why I heard it had some bad criticism- but I thought it was freaky! Oh well, I didn’t know exactly where the story was leading to but I guess, as they say, it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. And the journey of that movie was cool but I thought Date Movie or Scary Movie made me laugh more. Anyhow, I love the soundtrack.

Hmm…

Empty
by Elaine A.

I have written songs
Of love, of life and of me
I have climbed a hill
To see where I want to be

I have crossed a river
And felt the water brush my feet
I have seen the place
Where sad people come to meet

But I haven’t seen myself
Beyond the sadness and tears
I haven’t crossed the barrier
Where people have no fears

I haven’t climbed a place
Where I should have been happy
And I haven’t written a song
That could sing my life’s melody.

When I was in high school, I wrote this. Sometimes, I think my poems are too shallow. Maybe I just write what comes out of the blue regardless if it makes sense. I’m not sure, but I never was one who had “too many friends” in high school and until now. I felt like I was always the one in class whom people avoided to tease or pick on because they all knew I easily cried. I always felt empty ever since my parents separated. The house was not home. And I didn’t know where else in the world was home.

Scrutinize

Scrutinize
by Elaine A.

So deeply wounded
In a world of skin
When what matters most
Is not from within
It’s always the question
Of what you see
If they please not your eyes
You just let them be

It was never a question
If their soul was clean
Because what matters most
Is that eye so keen
Too keen to notice
So keen to bare
That which separates them
With every stare

Hmm. Ok that’s it. Heheh.

Holy Week

I don’t understand why most Filipinos/ Filipino families like to go home to their respective provinces during Holy Week. It makes the bus stations almost chaotic and they have to wait hours just to take that long ride home. Is it tradition? Maybe they just miss home? But the most probable reason might be that they just want to spend that special week with their loved ones- which is really sweet.

I’m not sure why I don’t feel so reverent. I feel like I’m so bad because of that. At the very least, I completely respect the occasion but I think I should do more than that as a Christian. As a Roman Catholic. I’m always so guilty when it comes to religion because I don’t participate in practices that most people do. I’m lazy and I don’t want to deny it but I’ve always tried fighting it.

Oh, this is very sad… me talking about how lazy I am on Holy Week.

Whenever I think I should have someone to guide me, I think of Him and that keeps everything in tact, I guess. At least I still believe that there’s Someone who loves me and, when in doubt of myself, He gives me the biggest assurance that I’m not alone. He’s just there!